


Date Me

by wematch



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Getting Together, M/M, Penny knows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-24 08:17:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20702822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wematch/pseuds/wematch
Summary: Simon has a new admirer, and he’s desperate to be left alone. So desperate, in fact, that he asks Penny to help him out. But Penny has the crazy idea that Baz is the solution for his problem. Which is bloody ridiculous. Right?





	Date Me

It's lunchtime and Penny and I are sitting at our usual table. We're trying to figure out how to get this girl named Violet to leave me alone–ever since Agatha and I broke up she keeps asking me out. It's terrible; I never know what to say to her. So now I'm waiting for Penny to tell me what to do (that usually works).

Penny pauses with her fork midair. “What about Baz?”

“What about him?” I ask, frowning at her. I’m not sure what she’s suggesting.

“Well, everyone thinks that you’re obsessed with him. It wouldn’t be a surprise if it turned into something else.”

“What–Penny I’m not obsessed with Baz!” I protest. I just need to know where he is and what he’s doing so that when he attacks me, I’m prepared for it. There’s a difference. 

I stand up, grab a scone, and leave. Penny calls after me but I ignore her. I can’t believe Penny just suggested that. How could Baz be the solution for getting rid of Violet? That’s bloody ridiculous. 

***

I think about what Penny said the rest of the week. The truth is that I’m desperate to get rid of Violet. She keeps following me everywhere, always trying to talk in between classes or waiting for me to exit the bathroom (even when I stay there for so long that the bell has rung and I’m late for class). I can’t stand it anymore, it’s driving me insane. And on top of it all, I have no idea what Baz has been up to lately because I don’t want to follow him with her on my tail. 

I’m desperate, (I can’t think of another solution for getting rid of Violet) and that is why I decide to ask Baz to help me out when he enters our bedroom. I'm already in bed so I wait for him to get ready and I only speak when he’s about to get in his bed. “Baz… I need your help,” I say, sitting up in my bed.

“Not happening,” he says with his back to me.

“You–you didn’t even let me tell you with what I need help with!” I growl, growing frustrated.

“Fine, Snow…” he starts as he enters his bed. “What is it that you need my help with?”

“I need you to date me.”

For a moment he freezes, his hand freezing from pulling the covers over himself. “What–” he starts to say but stops. Seconds pass and then he finally looks at me.“What did you just say?”

I huff, exasperated. “You heard me.”

Baz sneers.“Is this about that girl that keeps following you around?”

“Yes. No. I mean, yes.” I tug at my hair. “I need her to understand that I’m not interested in her.”

He raises an eyebrow at me. “And have you tried to tell that to her?”

“I've tried! Several times! But she won’t listen...” I can’t believe I’m telling Baz this. Crowley, he’ll never let this go. I feel bloody ridiculous, I’m supposed to be the Chosen One and I can’t even tell Violet to sod off (then again, I was never really good with words).

“And why would I help you with that?” he asks. I look at him but I don’t know what to say, he’s my nemesis why would he do such a thing? I don’t know why Penny thought Baz could be the solution. I lay down facing the wall. "Just forget it," I say defeated.

Minutes pass and when I begin to feel myself falling asleep, Baz asks, “What’s in it for me?”

“For you?”

“You don’t think I’m going to help you without gaining something from it, do you?”

Did Baz just say that he was going to help me? But what could I possibly give him in return? I look up at the ceiling, trying to think of something. “Okay... If you help me, I’ll stop following you around every night?” I turn my head to face him. This has been the reason for a lot of our fights, and if this isn’t a good enough reason I don’t know what else I can offer.

He seems to consider what I’m offering and when he finally answers he’s looking right into my eyes. “Fine, Snow. You’ve got yourself a deal.”

I feel like I’ve just struck a deal with the devil.

***

I’m having breakfast with Penny when Baz finally enters the room (he was still in bed when I left the bedroom). I’m not sure on how he plans on helping me, but he sees me staring at him and walks towards our table without looking away–maybe he’s coming over for us to make a plan on what to do about Violet. I frown when he gets to our table and sits right by my side, so close that my leg and shoulder are touching his. I glance at Penny and she’s looking suspiciously at Baz. Then Baz puts his hand on my chin, turns me to him and gives me a light kiss on my mouth. I blink stupidly at him as I hear Penny’s mug falling to the table spilling tea all over.

He moves closer to me and whispers in my ear, “If you want this to work you need to act more normal, Snow.” He spells Penny’s mess away and kisses my cheek gently. I start to blush at the intimacy of the whole thing while he acts like nothing just happened.

I begin to shove food in my mouth to look busy. Fuck, did Baz really just kiss me? I can feel Penny staring at me but I don’t meet her eyes. I think she's so surprised that she can't even speak (and that never happens). I look at him then, and he’s looking bored at our textbook, but as if sensing me he looks up to meet my eyes.

“Have you finished your breakfast?” he asks, making a disgusted face at the way I’m chewing.

I swallow all the food before answering. “Yeah.”

“Come on then, I don’t want to be late.” He stands up and extends his hand to me. I get up too and after a moment of hesitation, I take it.

I glance back and Penny is frowning at us, like she can’t believe what is happening and is trying to make sense of it. I don’t blame her; I’m not really sure that I believe that this is actually happening, and I’m the one currently holding Baz’s hand.

I let Baz pull me along to class. His hand is cold, probably because he's a vampire (the nymphs seem to think that he's dead, but I don't believe it. Baz has magic and magic is life). I look at our joined hands and I just can’t believe what is happening. Baz just kissed me. A bloke kissed me. Baz kissed me. 

I stop before we enter the building. Baz stops and turns to me. I glance around to check if there’s anyone near us and then I turn to him. “Why did you just kissed me?”

He tucks a loose hair behind his ear. “I thought you wanted to get rid of Violet’s attention.”

“I do.”

Baz rolls his eyes. “When I walked in, she was staring at you, you moron!" He continues walking, pulling me slightly so that I follow him. "And now she’ll think you have a boyfriend.”

Oh. I blink twice at him. “Oh, okay.” I can’t believe it. It’s only morning and Baz probably just took care of my problem with Violet. I wish Penny had told me this idea weeks ago. “Does this mean we’re together now?” 

“Only pretending to be, Snow, but yes. You’d better act the part for a while or she’ll figure us out.” he says. As if I’d forget that he’s my nemesis and he’s always plotting against me. He’s probably plotting something right now and had only agreed to this to get me off of his back. Still, I was the one that asked for his help so I bite my lip and don’t say anything. For now. 

He starts to climb the stairs and I follow him. I can’t believe this is actually happening. I’m going to pretend to be dating Baz. Does this mean I’m supposed to hold his hand when we walk together and go to his games? I already go to all his games, so that won’t change. Everyone thinking that we’re together, that is different. Baz kissed me, that is also different. Does this mean that he’s going to kiss me again?

***

As it turns out, pretending to be Baz’s boyfriend is rather easy. I wait for him after class and we hold hands on our way to the next one. I’ve been successfully avoiding Penny so far. She doesn’t have the same classes as us today, but when lunchtime arrives there’s no escaping her. Penny is already at our table. Staring at us. Staring at our joined hands as we walk in (Baz’s hand is cold but after a few minutes of holding it, it starts to feel room temperature). We sit down and Penny finally snaps. “What’s going on here?”

“I believe congratulations are in order, Bunce.”

Penny stares at Baz for a full minute, and he doesn’t look away (it’s impressive).“Oh, shut up,” she says, and moves closer to me. “You asked him to date you, didn’t you?” she whispers to me.

“No.”

“No?” Baz asks, his eyebrow raised.

“I mean, yes.” I feel my cheeks burning for some reason. “I asked for his help,” I explain.

Penny is looking at me with such intensity that I have to look down at my plate. I don’t know what she’s thinking. I think she’s surprised that I really asked Baz for help. And that he agreed to help me. I’m still surprised that he did agree to this. But the idea was all hers so she shouldn’t be so surprised that it worked. 

“Interesting,” she says, and begins to eat. For a second I'm confused. That’s it? I thought she was going to interrogate us the whole lunch about it. Baz rolls his eyes and opens a book. I don’t know what to think about the whole situation anymore. So I decide to start to eat lunch too.

***

A few days pass and Penny and Baz really start to get along. They have a lot in common, except for the part that we’re in different sides of the war (but I choose not to tell them that). Agatha refuses to look our way. And Baz’s minions (that's what he calls Dev and Niall) are pissed at him for dating me. Not because I'm a boy, but because they wasted their childhood plotting against me. Baz had only rolled his eyes and walked away. I don't get why he's doing all of this. When this is over, how is he going to get his friends back? And everyone has been staring and talking about us, but I don't really care. That's not new. 

I’m sitting at a bench under a tree waiting for Baz to finish his violin class, when Violet sits beside me. I know that Violet already saw me and Baz together, but she still doesn’t seem to give up.

“Hi, Simon!” she says happily, throwing her hair over her shoulder.

I sigh. “Hi, Violet...”

“What are you doing this Saturday?”

Here she goes again, trying to ask me out. “Saturday? Oh, I don’t know...” I start to look around, trying to think of something, anything, to tell her when I begin to hear someone approaching. We both look to the side to see who it is and I feel relieved when I see that Baz is storming our way, looking pissed. She stiffens, but doesn’t move away.

“Hello, love,” he says to me, stopping next to my feet. A few other students start to leave the building too, glancing our way, but I pay them no attention.

Baz puts down his violin case on the bench, puts his hands in his pockets and turns to Violet. “I believe I’m taking Simon on a date this Saturday.” He looks coldly at her. “And if you don’t mind, I’d really appreciate if you stopped hitting on my boyfriend.”

“Sorry,” she says, looking embarrassed. I should feel bad for her. But I don’t. Maybe now she’ll finally leave me alone. She gets up and leaves in a hurry. 

Baz sits by my side and we watch her walk away for a moment. I lace my fingers with his and begin to grin. “I think you scared her.”

“Good,” he tells me, and looks down at our hands.

I start drawing circles on his hand and he closes his eyes at the touch. “Baz?” I say quietly. He opens his eyes and looks at me. “Were you really going to take me on a date?”

“No." He says this as if it's obvious. And I'm surprised to feel disappointed. "I only said what I needed to get her off of you. Just like we agreed,” he says bitterly. Then an idea pops in my head. It’s a stupid idea. A really stupid one. One that doesn’t make any sense. But what if Baz wants this? Not in a fake way?

“I’d like that,” I say, without really thinking about it. But the moment the words leave my mouth I know that they’re true. Being this close to Baz made me really get to know him better and notice how much I like to be near him. And the moment the idea that Baz could want this, I knew I wanted it too.

“What?” he asks in a low tone, not meeting my eyes.

“The date. I’d like to go on that date…” I squeeze his hand before I continue. ”With...you. For real.”

He looks up at me, and I see uncertainty in his eyes. And I wonder how long he’s wanted this. I begin to grin, “I like this. All of this. With you.” I want to keep him like this, close to me. “I don’t want it to be fake.”

“Me neither,” he tells me. I bring my hand to his hair and move closer. He closes the space between us and kisses me (properly this time). He kisses me again, and again. And it’s so good. It’s been so good everytime.


End file.
